Tuesday, January 6, 2009

January Blacks

There are days , some hours of those days , when -

the morning full of winter sunshine is devoured into an empty space , a blackhole , that is your heart...

the twitter of birds inspires no poetic delight ,

you want to stop the ticking of snail-paced clocks ,

the prayers you say , tell nothing of prayers...

you cannot cook, with a zest , for those who are the salt and spice of your life ,

you do not feel you love anyone , and doubt if anyone loves you ....

your body should have slept but is conspiring to give you an infernal wakening time ,

you cannot drown yourself in your flooded , numbed , nothingness of thoughts...

books , babies , bars of chocolaty sins seem as if they would fail in consuming your naive hunger ,

there is no one to whom you could reveal just how you feel , every single time you felt like this...

you wish , it was night ,

you wish , you could lie on your bed , draw the blanket , squeeze yourself into the comfort of foetal rest ...

you pray feeble words , hope guilty hopes , seeking Him to hear , to see , to set you free ,
into that Sleep of death ; into that Life of no such days , such hours....

4 comments:

Materialmom said...

I am sure you have a fever. I'd recommend a hot, peppery South Indian rasam to blast whatever has got you down- be it high temperature or low spirits - right out of your system. Do cheer up

ThalassicReverie said...

:D
Yes, Good remedy.
Though I have never tasted it.

Materialmom said...

Reading this poem again after 8 years, I empathise so much more, and I think I know exactly what you went through. Reading my comment written all that while back, I regret that it sounds flippant. My wish to cheer you up is my only excuse.

Unknown said...

I visited my blog today after years ; surprised that you read my ramblings 'again' after 8 years ! Thank you ma'am . Actually I was reminded of my blog because of one post from you on FB today (about age not defining talent) It was refreshing to hear that song being portrayed by the talented old lady :-)
So I found materialmom link on your page which I must have missed earlier ... and there are your later posts that I haven't read ... it will be awesome to read you again :-)